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Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
What girl likes it in all her holes at the same time?
Mrs. Potato Head.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
Why do native Americans hate the snow?
Because it is white and settles all over their land.
Your parents are the greatest comedians in the world.
They made a joke decades ago and we're all still laughing at it.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.