*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
A man goes into a bar in the airport and asks the bartender what the password is to their wi-fi.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3
Me: There you go. So, what's the wi-fi password?
Bartender: It's you-need-to-buy-a-drink-first. No spaces, all lowercase.
There was once a Viking who became such a powerful warrior, he decided to take up a new challenge. The Viking sailed across Europe challenging people to staring contests.
He was so confident in his abilities that he promised to hand over all of the gold he had pillaged to anyone who could defeat him. The news spread throughout Europe, catching the attention of a couple in Ireland whose daughter was born without eyelids.
Believing that their daughter was guaranteed to win in a staring contest, the couple sent a messenger to invite the Viking to Ireland to face off against her. He gladly accepted the challenge, setting sail the next day.
The Viking eventually arrived at the couple's home, where he and the daughter had a staring contest which lasted for hours, and eventually days. Nearly a week had passed, and the Viking's eyes remained wide open. At this point, the girl was so exhausted that she decided to forfeit the match, losing by default.
Her parents were baffled. The wife asked her husband, "How could he have kept his eyes open for so long, even against someone with no eyelids?" With no good explanation, the husband shrugged and responded "You can lead a Norse to daughter, but you can't make him blink."
A lady helps her husband to set up a new laptop.
Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, selecting a word that he'll always remember.
As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, he types "mypenis".
As he hits "enter" to validate the selection, his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysterics.
The laptop had replied: TOO SHORT - ACCESS DENIED!
What Churches might be soon this 2020 and beyond:
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.
CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!
PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon. Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WiFi using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.
CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless you all.
CONGREGATION: Amen!
Today I opened a new email account, I always use the same password: "cabbage". It's easy to remember. But it seems the computer had other plans...
Please enter your new password:
"cabbage"
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
"boiled cabbage"
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
"1 boiled cabbage"
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
"50bloodyboiledcabbages"
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
"50BLOODYboiledcabbages"
Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
"50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessnow”
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
“ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessnow”
Sorry, that password is already in use!
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