There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.