What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.