What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.