What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.