Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.