Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!