Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.