What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.