What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.