Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.