Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist