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Credit Jokes

Quotes
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”
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Color Puns
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
Tiger Puns
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
Nuts Puns
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
Goat Puns
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Funny Money Quotes
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
Prison Puns
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.
Food Quotes
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
Vegetable Puns
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Toilet Paper Puns
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
Funny Work Quotes
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
One Liners and Short Jokes
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Electricity Puns
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Chess Puns
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
He said "Cheque , mate."