You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army?
I heard he was diploid.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
To get to the other tide.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.