Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Air resistance is a real drag.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.