What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What is the study of real estate? Homology
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.