Was Henry VI a ViKing?
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
That boy narrated his-story really well.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”