My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.