What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Do you find bone puns humerus?
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.