Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile