Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.