Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.