What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.