I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.