What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.