We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.