I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.