Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
The sun is just a big space heater.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.