What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!