How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.