After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.