What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.