People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
The superconductor left without resistance.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.