Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea