What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice