Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
The sun is just a big space heater.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!