What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Biology - It grows on you.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns