Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.