What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
What is the study of real estate? Homology
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.