Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.