Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.