Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.