Biology - It grows on you.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."