How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber screams, “Don’t change the subject!"
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.