I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Biology - It grows on you.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”