Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!