Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.