Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?