What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!