Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.