What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.