What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!