Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.