Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.