I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.