What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.