What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.