What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.