This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.