Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.