How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp