Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.