I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.