What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?