Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!