What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.