I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!