What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.