What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!