How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Shell yeah.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Tropic like it's hot.