Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.