How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Beach you to it.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism