What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.