What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.